I just returned from seeing Meryl Streep's remarkable performance as Margaret Thatcher in "Iron Lady," for which she surely should win an Oscar.

But she also should win that Oscar for touching aging widows' hearts.

Like Margaret, many of us went through our husband's shoes, clothes, and treasures--along with old family photos-- and could not bear to take that final step and get rid of them. They were the constant reminders of a beautiful life lived well that is no more.

But this powerful film and Streep's performance in it are not for the faint hearted.

In the final scenes, as Margaret hallucinates, and talks with her dead spouse (and don't we all do that sometimes?) she finally packs up everything, and watches him put on his coat, pick up his case and leave.

"Oh, don't go, Dennis," she cries . "Don't go yet, I don't want to be alone."

And he turns to say, "Oh, you'll be all right. You always have been."

Some of us, who also lived independent professional lives can identify uncomfortably with that moment.

I just spoke with my cousin who "downsized" from her very large home 10 years ago, but now wants to do it again. Her husband recently had a stroke and although he recovered and manages to do most things by himself, he does need someone nearby at all times to notice if he "missteps" with his walker (which he doesn't always use)  and falls down. It's frustrating for my cousin, an "active senior" who has much else to do. He doesn't need a care-giver, but he does need to be among people. A senior community seems to be the answer.

She often visits friends living in nearby  "active living"  communities. She is very anxious to join them and has been comparing amenities, costs and services. But she has a special problem many seniors face:

"I would move in a minute but I can't face sorting and packing all our 'stuff'," she moaned. "Even though we downsized once--I seem to have filled up every room, closet and corner of this home, as well as the storage space, garage and basement. I can't imagine sitting down and going through all these things again, throwing some out or making my four kids take some, and then moving somewhere else. It's just too much work."

Well, guess what? Every one of the communities she visited will provide her with a whole list of assistants to do all that. Once her children have taken their treasures, there are professionals available to hold garage and house sales. Others will help sort through her things and decide what she wants to take to her new home. Packers will also get them to the new residence and help her set them up. All also will provide help selling her current home--and suggest "stagers" to arrange furniture to make it more appealing to buyers, then go to the new home and "stage" that in the most attractive and comfortable design.

It's that simple. But she must ask her children to help her get started.  And that's a lesson for all of us.

We can't say enough-- often enough-- about protecting your home against burglary.

Last week local police reported an increase of home invasions in our affluent suburban area that never worried too much about that before.

The usual warnings include keeping all windows and doors locked at all times because that's the most common point of entry for most burglars. Also keep lights on timers or simply left on 24/7, and leave a radio or television set playing softly. Additional safety is provided by  installing motion sensor lights on all sides of the home, and keeping shrubs trimmed low so no one can hide behind or around them.

Also remember burglars want to invade an EMPTY home with no interruptions. They watch your home to see patterns of behavior that indicate nobody will be inside when they break in.

Local police have also told Widows List.com that it may be better to ask a neighbor to take in mail, rather than  having the post office stop delivery. The reason, they say, is that postal delivery people may finish routes early, stop in local cafe's and mention aloud that they're early because "such and such" block is empty because everyone went on Winter vacation.

Police also warn never to discuss upcoming travel plans with friends in any public place. "The walls have ears. You never know who's listening and may follow you home, then mark the house for future invasion."

We also find comfort in the horn installed outside our home that announces loudly "Burglary in progress!! " the moment a break in the security system is detected.

"There's no sex at 70, and especially for widows," the new widow complained. "It's a couples' world."

"Well," I answered, "it's a couples' world if you're willing to leave it to them--before you actually leave it."

But I know what she means. It seems that most people around you are marching "two by two" as you also did until now. But take a closer look. They're not the seniors. It's not a couples world after 70. As we age, we see more and more women appearing alone at senior center gatherings, family parties and neighborhood events,

If they're smart and still glad to be alive, they'll take a drink and mingle happily with  men, women and the  couples.

Because guess what? Those who are in couples now, won't be forever.

So think twice about whether you really want to be in another "couple." Each year a "partner" requires more care--or worse. Perhaps it's best to get yourself to the party with a GPS, a taxi, or another unattached party goer--and when you arrive, you're free to mingle and chat with everyone.
 
Try that for Happy holidays.