Blog.Widowslist.com

Check Details of Your Phone Bill

2010-07-30T19:29:00Z

When our grandchildren became teen-agers we gave each a cell phone as a birthday gift. We agreed also to pay the monthly bill. But that was long ago and the bills were low.

Lately we bundled those two bills, with my cell phone bill, into one Verizon family plan. Because I check it carefully each month I recently discovered that texting had entered the picture and by adding unlimited texting for everyone to the plan,we could save money, So I did that.

Then yesterday I noticed a $30 increase in the new bill. Instead of just paying it, as many probably would, I immediately called Verizon. The agent looked up our record and found that somewhere in the last month new "premium messages" had been added to the account for $9.95 per line. And what are the premium messages that have been clogging my message bin without my knowledge? They are Whiz Quiz Questions, whatever they are. We were also being charged for downloading some music. We still haven't figured out how any of that happened. The agent also gave me a credit for the extra charge.

Now these messages are blocked from entering any of our cell phones, along with music downloading. (The kids can do that on their computers and whatever other electronic devices they're plugged into.) Everyone's been alerted that cell phones are to be used only for making and receiving calls and texting messages.

When you see an unusual jump on any bill immediately go online to view the entire bill, or call to ask the agent to do that for you. Make sure you talk to the phone company to have it corrected and receive the credit.

Forgive Yourself for Stupidity

2010-07-30T19:18:00Z

It's not easy to forgive your stupidity when you've always thought you were pretty smart.

But I'm learning. Slowly.

A couple weeks ago I was thinking about our delightful cruise to the Caribbean when I pulled out my wallet to use the ATM machine at the bank. Barely looking at my hands, I pulled out a card, put it into the slot, and withdrew $200 in cash. It wasn't until I looked at the receipt and saw I had $9,800 left to withdraw, that I realized I had mistakenly used my bank's VISA card instead of my bank's ATM card, and had inadvertently taken a $200 loan from that credit line--with a credit charge.

It was after hours and the bank was closed, so I went home and called the number on the back of the Visa card to explain my error and to find out what that silly mistake was going to cost. The agent said I'd already been charged $10 for the $200 loan. I asked for a supervisor, made him check to see that I carry no debt but pay the card every month. I explained that it had only been a few hours, I was willing to transfer payment back immediately, and I didn't want to pay the $10 interest.

That call was important. Always pick up your phone and ask questions and in most cases you too will get satisfaction.

The agent removed the $10 loan fee, I will pay the $200 back when the Visa card comes next month, and I'm trying to forget how dumb I was. I suppose writing about it here helps.

WL Dinner Out's a Great Success

2010-07-21T00:02:00Z

The Widows List's "Strive and Thrive Alone Dinner" in Jolane's Cafe' in Wheeling Monday evening was beyond our greatest expectations.

For the last month I waited for guests to sign up through email, our business phone, or at our two senior centers.
So many members had said they wanted to participate. But at first we didn't hear from them.

Then suddenly, in the past week, the phone began to ring, emails started coming in, and names were signed on the Senior Center Lists.

Still, I wasn't convinced that more than three or four people would show.

Imagine my pleasant surprise when 13 diners appeared--including two men who read about us in the flyers. They had such a good time they now plan to join our monthly discussion groups.

The Cafe' staff set up tables on the indoor patio, and we partied for two and a half hours. The food was magnificent--and the company even better. Everyone agreed we will make our "Strive and Thrive Alone Dinner Out" a regular event. We will vote at our next meetings about how often that should be.

And our new male members contributed a brilliant idea. Since we got such a nice crowd by blending the Glenview and Northbrook Groups, they suggested we do the same for monthly meetings.

So now our two groups will meet together at 9:30 a.m. on the third Monday of every month, but alternate between the Glenview and Northbrook Senior Centers. Beginning at 9:30 a.m. Monday, Sept. 20 we all will meet in the Northbrook Senior Center 3323 Walters. The following meeting, on the third Monday, Oct 18, we'll meet in the Glenview Senior Center, 2400 Chestnut Ave.

There will be no August meeting, but we will schedule even more exciting programs for our new, larger group in the Fall season. "

See you all then.

Despicable Me--A Despicable Movie

2010-07-18T21:33:00Z

My darling grandsons, Joshua, 8 and Jesse, 5, came with their parents from Colorado to visit our family in Chicago last week, and we dropped everything to entertain them.

They checked into Deerfield's Lake Cook Embassy Suites, where they swam in the pool and enjoyed magnificent breakfasts in atrium lobby.

We welcomed them with a family party Saturday evening, featuring a buffet supper brought in from Portillo's in Arlington Heights. The next day they went to Glencoe Beach to paddle in Lake Michigan and dig forts in the sand. The next day the whole family went to Lincoln Park Zoo, wandering through the Great Gorilla House, the Reptile House, seeing zebras, lions and tigers outdoors. We topped that off Wednesday evening with a trip to the new Garoon Gateway to Science Park, at the JCC's Apache Camp Grounds at Rt.22 and Old McHenry Rd. in Lake Zurich. It's "kid friendly" outdoor exhibits of wind, water, sun, and all other forces of nature were captivating. The park is open to the public each Wednesday through Fall from 5 to 7 p.m at $5 per car.

As a final treat, we chose the new movie, "Despicable Me," showing at the Glen 10 Theater in Glenview. It received wonderful reviews and the kids loved it. Josh laughed loud and hard at almost every word, and Jesse watched big-eyed with wonder.

Grandmother had a different reaction. I thought this film was absolutely despicable. The "potty language" was inexcusable, and constant views of bathroom fixtures equally unnecessary. Granted, kids always think anything to do with bathrooms or anatomy is hilarious. Well, they like junk food too, but that doesn't mean we have to fill them up on it.

While I watched the movie with disgust and boredom, I wondered what became of real film- making skill, of developing plot and characters, of artful photography and rich dialog.

I also thought about such films as Fantasia, The Wizard of Oz and the Shirley Temple classics of my childhood; the Disney works like Sleeping Beauty, or Cinderella, of my children's childhood; or more recent Disney charmers like 101 Dalmatians, and The Little Mermaid. There wasn't a vulgar word or open toilet among them.

Most unfortunate is the damage these new fast-moving, loud, animated, horrors do to our children's creative development. When Shakespeare's narrator in Henry V watches one soldier ride a wooden horse across an otherwise empty stage, he says "Let your imaginations WORK!" And we imagine an army, 500 soldiers strong, charging after the enemy.

Our children's imaginations will have no such exercise because everything they see today in films, on TV and now in e-books, is geared to the three-minute attention span they develop from TV commercials. Sadly, there also is nothing grand left for them to imagine.

Sometimes you can fix the air conditioner

2010-07-05T18:09:00Z

I don't think of myself as an engineer. But I did give myself a small pat on the back Sunday.

Saturday afternoon, July 3, I suddenly noticed the house was unusually warm. Outside the temperature was 90;inside the thermostat read 85, but was set at 75.

"Oops," I thought. "Something's wrong."

I called Bob Miller, our heating and air conditioning expert at J.J.Miller Co. in Northbrook, and left a message since it was a holiday weekend. I didn't expect to hear from him until Monday, so I found a fan, set it up on a chair next to my bed, and got through the night..

At 8 a.m. Sunday, July 4, Bob returned my call. He said he'd be along first thing Monday morning to see what was wrong. "Sometimes, even though we just checked a unit, it can short out from overuse in the area," he muttered as he hung up.

It was an "aha!"moment.

I went downstairs, opened the circuit breaker box and flipped the switch marked "air conditioner" back and forth a few times. (And I blessed my husband for marking each of those switches so carefully many years ago.)

There was a "whirr," then a "whoosh" and cool air blew through the house. I canceled Bob's visit, and later that day I told a woman I met at the Jewel what happened.

She said, "I've been a widow 16 years and I would never have thought of that. I always just let the repair guy do it. Thanks a lot!"

You may want to try that next time too.

Tomatoes in a bag

2010-07-05T18:04:00Z

Constant readers will recall that I have a brother who holds a degree in agriculture and sometimes offers good advice . The lastest helps with the tomatoes that are turning up in great numbers at farmers' markets and grocery stores this month.

Unfortunately, most aren't really ripe when you buy them, and if you let them sit out on the counter they turn mushy by the time they turn red.

The farmer in our family says put them into a brown paper bag for a day or so until they are exactly right. They remain firm and tasty.

It works for me.

The Widows List Dines Out

2010-07-02T13:30:59Z

No one thinks twice about eating lunch alone in a restaurant, but many of us don't like to eat dinner alone among couples and groups.

That's why The Chicago area Widows List groups , that meet in Northbrook and Glenview Senior Centers, will meet at 5 p.m. Monday, July 19, in Jolane's Cafe' , 1100 N. Milwaukee Ave, Glenview to have dinner together.

Members and their friends are all welcome, but space is limited. To attend, register at the office of either Senior Center--or send an email to Sandy@widowslist.com ,

We promise fabulous food, modest prices, and INCREDIBLE desserts!

Thoughts on living alone

2010-06-30T17:56:00Z

I recently realized that this is the first time in my life I have lived alone. Like so many women in my generation, I lived in a family until I lived in a college dorm, then I shared our home with my husband and our children.

But now I make decisions about where to spend my vacations, what I want for dinner, what I's like to watch on TV, and when to turn out the bedside lamp. In many ways it is liberating. In many more ways it can be lonely and sad if I don't work at keeping my spirits up with the help of many activities, family members and friends.

So I was impressed by a paragraph I read recently in a beautiful little novel called "Walkiing Across Egypt" by Clyde Edgerton, another of those North Carolina writers who write with golden pens while teaching teach education and creative writing in nearby colleges.

Here's that description:

The 78-year-old widow, Mattie Rigsbee, thinks about what's to become of her in the next few years, although she's doing just fine right now, thank you.

"...I don't think I want Robert or Elaine (her single children) here. They wouldn't be happy. They need a chance to have families of their own. Besides, I don't think I want to live with anybody. I've lived with somebody all of m;y life and took care and took care and took care and I've done a good job of it: clothed and fed and cared for a husband and two children for all my life and now I'm enjoying sitting at night and reading my Bible and I don't want somebody moving in. But look at Mary Belle there in a rest home, and Phoebe Sue and Dorcus and they just sit there.......Of course some of those places are right nice I suppose.
Mattie went into the living room and sat at the piano and played "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." She looked at the pictures on the piano.
Well, after all was said and done, after all was said and done, she had Jesus. She would always have Jesus. But. But it wasn't his way to come in and keep you company. You couldn't cook for him."

Nicely done, Clyde. Wherever did you learn exactly how a 78-year-old widow feels?

Surprise! There IS love after 80

2010-06-30T17:42:00Z

I've long advocated love and marriage for those left alone in their 60s, because they can expect a nice long life together. But I've also shown some skepticism about romance, partnering and/or marriage for people over 80. It seemed to me their life expectancy was such that one or the other would die too soon, ending the relationship.

Silly me.

Last Friday evening I went to a wonderful annual dinner presented by the Avenue for Independence in Park Ridge IL, an organization that helps people with mental challenges work in its workshop or for nearby businesses. The event was inspiring and uplifting.

But I was especially impressed when a woman attorney who was seated at our table and introduced us to her mother, sitting next to her. Then she introduced her step-father, seated on her mother's other side.

"For many years our home was across the yard from his home, and his children played with all of us," she said. "After my father and his wife died, it seemed natural for them to marry since they already were very good friends."

They've been happily married 14 years and recently moved into a Senior Residence. Both still are very fit, don't use canes, or walkers, and they ate their meals with relish and certainly no help. Joining in the conversation, both added to the congeniality at our table.

How surprised were were to learn they both were 85 when they married each other and they are planning to celebrate their 100th birthdays together this year.

Make gutter cleaners 'clean'

2010-06-22T15:17:00Z

For years the team of "gutter cleaners" my husband hired managed to clean the gutters but "dirty" our lawn by onto the roof and blowing all the debris out of the gutters into the air. It all fell on the grass and gardens below, and, later, those pesky tree seeds erupted into plants and had to be pulled out by hand...by my husband.

I wasn't that good natured. Now that I have to clean up that mess, I explained the problem to my landscaper, MC Landscaping INC. He sent his team to do the job with a vacuum that sucked up everything already "growing" in those gutters--for the same price. There was no mess. I sat in the kitchen with a cup of coffee watching them---and The View. It was a nice change. My husband would have been proud. Ask your landscaper about it.

See Widows List: Home and Garden